I bought this book in a children's and YA bookshop in Retford at Easter. I was visiting the area with friends and read about this bookshop, so a few of us went along. I bought three books because I had a voucher, and this was one of them. I picked it up in mid May when I was feeling a bit down, and it turned out to be just what I needed. Sometimes books happen like that and I always love it when they do.
So, this is a book told in verse, like Sarah Crossan's books, which I didn't know when I picked it up actually, but it really didn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I think some of the poems worked better than others, and I would have liked a little bit more depth on some. But they did generally work really well.
The story is about Jay. He wakes up in a park one morning, beaten, bruised, and bloodied. His phone is smashed. He realises he has been sexually assaulted. He goes to his friend Lau, and Lau takes him to the hospital where they take samples and all of that. Jay later realises he was raped, but what exactly happened is a mystery. He remembers being in a club with his boyfriend Jackson, but nothing else.
Jackson won't speak to him, doesn't come over or any of that. He messages to say he needs some space. Jay has supportive parents, and Lau, and he later goes to a support group where he meets someone called Rain. He goes back to school, but there, everyone knows about the rape, which is awful.
There's a lot in this about how survivors of rape and sexual assault rarely get justice through the legal system - rapists are rarely prosecuted and even when they are, they are rarely found guilty. That is all true and it adds to Jay's trauma and feelings of shame and worthlessness.
Jay realises that Jackson may have been involved in what happened to him, which is another massive betrayal.
It's a sad book but I loved Jay and his character, his spirit. I am giving this four out of five.
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