Where the Light Goes by Sara Barnard - Review

When I was at Northern YA Lit Fest in July, Sara Barnard was one of the panellists and she was as always brilliant and she was talking about this book so I bought it and got her to sign it. I picked it up a couple of weeks ago and although I found it a very hard read I also thought it was absolutely brilliant. 

You see, it is about a sixteen year old girl, Emmy, whose famous sister, Beth, takes her own life. That is a harrowing subject anyway, but this is also something I have personal experience of. My dad took his own life way back in 2008 when I was just 24. I fully believe that I lost my mind for a while afterwards in the grief, and I have certainly never been the same person since. I have spent the last fifteen years trying in small ways to destigmatise suicide and I've read with interest The Samaritans' tips on how to report suicide, and I never use the phrase "commit suicide" for instance as it's just SO bad. So I was immediately interested when Sara talked about the fact that she lost a friend to suicide a few years ago and that she is a volunteer for The Samaritans and that she had paid good attention to the media rules and had woven this into the book. She made the point that we should never know exactly how someone high profile has died which is definitely not something that the press has done in recent years and which they definitely should be ashamed of. 

I spoke to Sara briefly about this as she was signing the book and mentioned my dad and said how I feel like having police involved in a death is just adding insult to injury. It's horrible when you have to do a public inquest and your own dad is in the newspaper and stuff like that. I feel like because Beth in the book is famous, this point was really brought across to the reader because obviously there's massive press interest in her story, in her life and in her death. 

So Beth has been famous since she was sixteen and at the time of her death she is twenty one. She got famous on something a bit like The X Factor with her band, The Jinks, which was comprised of Beth, aka Lizzie Beck, and her best friends Jodie, Aiya, and Tam. However, she has had drug and alcohol problems and she was on the verge of leaving the band. She had been in rehab. Her and Emmy's dad, Malcolm, was one of the band's managers, so in the weeks after her death he is quite absent, doing band things. 

Emmy is sixteen and has just finished drama school, at a place called Shona Lee, but she hopes to return to it for the sixth form. She absolutely idolised her sister and she is a singer herself and wants to be famous too. But she understands that there's a difference between Lizzie Beck the pop star and Beth her sister. She knows that Beth was far from perfect, but she just can't get her head round Beth's suicide. She has a best friend, Grey, and two other girls she's really close with, but she ends up pushing them away because she just doesn't know what to say. She also pushes away her boyfriend, Scottie. 

The story is so well told, told in the ninety days following Beth's death. The times when Emmy just can't put herself together. The times she needs her mum, who hides herself away and won't talk to Emmy. The times when she needs her dad, who is still busy with the band, who Emmy thinks have betrayed Beth. The times when Emmy herself does bad or misjudged things which are the reader you TOTALLY get. As I say, I did some fucking weird things in the aftermath of my dad's death, and I was a fully grown adult who was married and had a job! Suicide is its own particular kind of pain and Sara encapsulates that beautifully. You can tell she has experience of it. 

I will also mention the writing. The book isn't told in prose, wholly. There's more prose towards the end and I think this is when Emmy begins to see the light at the end of the tunnel. At the beginning, when she's massively grieving and is just reeling from the shock, the writing is all over the place. There are just little vignettes as Emmy lurches from day to day. I think this is a brilliant way of writing grief. 

I would recommend this book a hundred percent if you think it's something you can cope with. The writing is beautiful. The story is lush - you desperately want Emmy to be okay, you want to give her a hug, and I wanted to tell her that she would survive, that she would not only survive but she would thrive, that she would be happy again, and that she would always always miss her sister, but she would always honour her memory too. If I could give this more than five out of five, I would. 

Something Certain, Maybe by Sara Barnard - Review

Every time I pick up one of Sara's books I end up really fired up about Young Adult literature and want to write all the books! I have been told that my writing is like Sara's which is a huge compliment. This is the third book in a trilogy about Caddy, Rosie, and Suze - each book has a different one of them as a protagonist and this time it's Rosie's turn. In the first one, Caddy's book, the girls are doing their GCSEs. I haven't read the second one, but I picked up a bit about what had happened in that book due to what Rosie says in this one. However, I've ordered the second one to the library because I would like to read it.

I bought this book in The Bookish Type in Leeds in February; I had a voucher from a friend and there was a sale on too so I ended up buying eight books altogether I think! I am trying to make my way through them before the end of the year. Or before I go to the next sale!

Okay, so in this book Rosie is leaving Brighton to go to university in Norwich. She is going to study pharmacy and she is determined that it is going to be great. Suze is staying behind in Brighton, working full time. Caddy is starting at Warwick university just a week later than Rosie. So Rosie is dropped off by her mum and left in her flat. There's at least seven of them in there - drama students Rika and Dawn, Freddie, and three boys named Jack. Rosie tries really hard to go out with them in Freshers week and have fun, but discovers it's not really her thing. Everyone gets very drunk and Rika is kind of a bitch. Then Rosie is thrust into her course. Unlike some people's, it's very full on, with lots of labs and stuff, so she's often out of the flat and everyone takes to calling her The Enigma as they don't really know her. One person that Rosie meets on her course drops out a couple of weeks later, and other friends Rosie makes aren't living the typical student life. Rosie starts to feel overwhelmed and incredibly unhappy - but she's made A Plan and she is sticking to it regardless of anything else!

She meets Jade, who is a third year pharmacy student, and the two start a relationship. It's very sweetly told, although Jade does at first come across a bit one dimensionally. She tries to get Rosie to fall in love with Norwich, but it doesn't work. Rosie is determined to just keep going. She feelsl ike she can't tell Caddy and Suze because Caddy is having the time of her life in Warwick and she doesn't want to upset Suze. When the girls do get together it is often messy, which I actually really liked because real life is messy and teenaged girls are messy! It read brilliantly to me. 

The book encompasses a lot, and a lot of time, and one of my only criticisms is that sometimes I felt like things were skipped over, but I understand it because there was a lot to fit in. I related a lot to the book because I hated my first semester at university - I didn't like the whole Freshers thing either and I hated nightclubs (still do!) and I really struggled to make friends. I am going to lend this to my friend Ros because she had a similar experience as me, and it is terrible because you feel so alone and overwhelmed. I got into my rhythm in the second semester, although I do still think I could have made more of my uni experience. I loved how real Rosie's story was!

I also feel like the ending was so well done - I won't spoilt it but it's perfect for the book and shows that life doesn't always turn out like you think it will. I'm giving the book four out of five. 

Destination Anywhere by Sara Barnard - Review

Where did I get it? I bought it at Northern YA Lit Fest in May and got it signed by Sara - we had a nice discussion and it was nice to meet her. 

What's it about? Peyton is seventeen years old and after some difficulties at college has decided to run away to Canada. Right at the beginning of the book she has emailed her parents and is on a flight to Vancouver. She arrives and checks into a hostel. Her parents are obviously angry but also worried about her, and want her to go home immediately. But she refuses.

Then in flashbacks we learnt what happened at college. While at school Peyton had literally no friends and was bullied mercilessly. So when she started sixth form she was determined to do better. She was determined to have friends, and in one class she ends up talking to Travis, Flick, and Eric. Flick and Eric are a couple and they have several friends from school that they're close with. Peyton becomes part of the gang and eventually starts going out with Travis, but the friendships are not exactly easy or happy ones. Peyton goes along with a lot of stuff that she's not happy with, but feels like she can't say no to, because she's so determined to keep her new friends. Everything goes terribly wrong, which happens only a few weeks before she heads off to Canada. This part of the story is told is bits and bobs throughout the book, which was a really good way of showing it and was a complete contrast to what was happening in Canda. 

Because, in Canada, Peyton is having adventures. She arrives with no real plan, but she quickly makes friends with some others staying at the hotel. They're Scottish lads Khalil and Beasey, a Russian guy whose name escapes me, a Germany girl called Maja, and two Swedes called Lars and Stefan. They all haven't met before (except the Swedes who are a couple, amd Khalil and Beasey who are travelling the world together) but they form a close bond and decide to travel to Vancouver Island together. They kind of mock Peyton for not having a plan, but she goes with them and has a good time. 

There's definite chemistry between her and Beasey, but after what happened with Travis Peyton is reluctant to get into another relationship. But he is very cute...

Oh and Peyton's grandfather just happens to live in Canada, and he's an artist like she is, but there's no way she'll go and see him, of course... 

Every time I read a book by Sara I look at it with different eyes than I do some books, and this is because I think my writing is quite similar to hers, and I look at what I would do with the story and characters. It's not a bad thing, I like doing this, and I think it was a massive compliment when my writing was compared to Sara's. We have similar set ups (for instance, Flick's family is poor and Peyton ends up paying for everything, which she later feels taken advantage of for) so I like to think critically about Sara's books. This one - I couldn't fault it. I loved Peyton and really felt for her, especially as I suffered bullying myself at school. I loved that she just took off and was determined to do things by herself. I loved the story and how it panned out. 

What age range is it for? 15+ 

Are any main characters LGBTQ+? Lars and Stefan, but it's not part of the story 

Are any main characters people of colour? Khalil, I'm guessing by the name, but it's not mentioned 

Are any main characters disabled either mentally or physically? I think it's fair to say that Peyton has some post traumatic stress stuff going on 

Is there any sex stuff? No, it's very fade to black 

Are drugs mentioned or used? Yes, definite trigger warning here 

Is there any talk of death? No but there is some violence 

Are there swear words? A few 

 

What criticisms do I have? Almost none. It took me a few chapters to get into it but once I did I really wanted to know what would happen 

Would I recommend the book? Yes, it's definitely one for fans of Sara's, but I'd also say it's a really accessible one if you haven't read anything by her before. 

Why did I choose to read it at this point in life? I am so determined to read all those books I bought in Preston so I started with this one! 

 

What do I think of the cover? It's cute, it's quite unlike any others of Sara's books though. It's also maybe not as easy breezy of a book as the cover would indicate 

How many stars? Four out of five. I enjoyed it. 

 

Where is the book going now? I'll keep it because it's signed, of course!

Floored: A Novel - Review

Where did I get it? Netgalley, so thank you very much to Pan Macmillan for allowing me it 

What's it about? There has been so much hype around this book which really made me want to read it! It is a collaborative novel written by seven of the best voices in UK Young Adult literature - Sara Barnard, Holly Bourne, Tanya Byrne, Non Pratt, Melinda Salisbury, Lisa Williamson, and Eleanor Wood. I think I've read books by all these authors except for Lisa Williamson, so I knew I had excellent writing in store. 

What happens is that six teenagers happen to meet one day in Manchester. They are all, for some reason or another, at UKB (basically the BBC). Two are there for an internship, one is there to deliver a parcel. They all get into a lift at the same time, and at the last second a postman does too, pushing a trolley. And then, between floors, he dies, and the teens have to work out what to do next. 

We then see the six throughout the next few years as they meet up on the same day each year, and as their lives progress. It is such an interesting concept for a book!

The six teens are as follows: Dawson, who used to be on TV but who isn't "cute" anymore and isn't sure if he'll work again, Kaitlyn, who was a fan of Dawson's and who has just been diagnosed with Stargardt disease which means she will lose her sight, Velvet, who lives in a hotel in Bridlington and is trying her best to fit in, Sasha, who is working for her overbearing dad and also trying her best, Hugo, who is rich, whose dad is an MP, and who is full of himself, and finally Joe, who dreams of more than working in the local biscuit factory. Each author wrote one of the teens each, and then the 7th one wrote the narrator bits at the end of each year, which told us loads more of the action.

I loved each of the characters, I thought they were very distinct from each other and well drawn. I liked that at least three of them came from working class families; I felt like class was a big theme within the book actually. I liked the stuff around disability, both with Kaitlyn and with someone else's family member, which I won't spoiler. I liked the stuff around sexuality, which I also won't spoiler but which I felt was dealt with in a really good way.

I don't have a clue which author wrote each part. I hope we do get to find out! I thought the person writing the narrator parts had the most difficult job, but they were well written parts which sat nicely alongside the other more personal parts. I am talking about writing a collaborative novel myself with a friend, so I really liked to see how Person 1's point of view segued into Person 2's, and so on, and how that was done without a lot of repetition.

I also liked how we first saw everyone at 15/16, on work experience, and then saw them get older, saw them grow into adults. I thought the character progression was shown really well.

What age range is it for? 15+ 

Are any main characters LGBTQ+? Yes, I am utterly not spoiling it though because I loved the way this unfolded. 

Are any main characters people of colour? Sasha is mixed race - I would have liked a bit more exposition here really, but I did like the descriptions of her relationship with her mother. 

Are any main characters disabled either mentally or physically? Yes, as I've described above 

Is there any sex stuff? Yes, a little. It is slightly graphic. 

Are drugs mentioned or used? I think so, I think there's some mention but not much 

Is there any talk of death? Yes. The death in the lift isn't very graphic but may be upsetting, and there is some other discussion. 

Are there swear words? Yeah. 

What criticisms do I have? Almost none. There were a couple of inconsistencies but honestly I'm putting them down to trying to co-ordinate seven people and their writing! (And they may be ironed out in the final version). Some reviews have said they thought the novel was too superficial. I don't agree. I think it is simple and simply told, but I don't think it's superficial. There was lots of stuff to dig into if you wanted. 

Would I recommend the book? Very much absolutely! It's a really fun book. 

Why did I choose to read it at this point in life? As I said I'd seen a lot of the hype and I wanted to see if it lived up to it. It does - it most definitely does! 

What other books is it like? I honestly don't know. It is simply told like a lot of Non Pratt's book, but it has shades of all the other writers too. It reminded me a bit of Alice Oseman, too. 

How many stars? Five out of five. Read it, read it now!

Goodbye Perfect by Sara Barnard - Review

Where did I get it? I had it on pre-order as I've enjoyed Sara's previous books so much, so it arrived a few weeks ago. 

What's it about? Eden lives in Kent, with her bio sister Daisy and their adoptive family - Carolyn, Bob, and sister Valerie. Eden is sixteen and about to take her GCSEs. She's woken one Saturday morning to a visit from the police. Her best friend Bonnie has run off with her secret boyfriend, Jack, who Eden had heard about didn't entirely believe was real. Only it turns out that Jack is actually Mr Cohn, a music teacher at Eden and Bonnie's school. Eden lies to police about being in touch with Bonnie as she desperately tries to deal with the fact that her sure and steady best friend has done something completely wild. 

Eden has a boyfriend, Connor, who is really cute and very like the male characters in previous books by Sara. Eden's birth mum is no longer in her life, and Eden struggles to know where her place is in her family. She's also not the most academic of teenagers and is dreading the exams. She loves gardening and is fiercely protective of her little sister. I loved getting to know Eden as a character. I think Sara is really good at writing believable but flawed but also likeable characters. Eden does some stupid things, but we as readers are totally on her side and want her to be okay, I think. 

I liked the side characters a lot, especially Eden's sisters Daisy and Valerie. I found it difficult to get to know Bonnie, but I think this is part of the point, because the Bonnie that Eden know no longer exists, if she did at all. I think this was an excellent example of contemporary YA as a genre - it's exciting, a lot happens, it's well-paced, and there's some really lovely bits to go alongside the really poignant parts. It talks about the grooming of teenagers while never seeming preachy. Really accessible and really, really good. 

What age range is it for? 15+, maybe, although it would depend on the maturity of a younger teenager as to whether they could handle it, I think. 

Are any main characters LGBTQ+? No 

Are any main characters people of colour? There's brief mention to Eden and Daisy not being "white enough" but nothing else. I would have liked to see this explored more, perhaps, but I can also see that it wasn't perhaps relevant to the story. 

Are any main characters disabled either mentally or physically? Not really. 

Is there any sex stuff? Yes, and I thought it was so well written. It made perfect sense for where it happened in the book, and was really lovely, I was really happy for Eden. 

Are drugs mentioned or used? A tiny bit when talking about Eden's birth mum, but there's nothing too graphic. I thought Eden's relationship with her mum was brilliantly and poignantly done, I liked how conflicted Eden was about it. 

Is there any talk of death? No 

Are there swear words? Yes, a few. I loved when Valerie swore late on into the novel because it really got her character over well. 

What criticisms do I have? Honestly, very few. I would have written certain things differently, sure, but I thought this was a really good novel. It didn't focus too much on Bonnie and Mr Cohn, which I felt was right. 

Would I recommend the book? Absolutely. I think Sara is one of the best UK novelists around at the moment. Her British teens are always so true to life. 

Why did I choose to read it at this point in life? Funnily, Lee chose it. I have a spreadsheet of all my books, which Lee also made into an app for me. Whenever a new book arrives it has to be put on the spreadsheet, so there's a pile in the bedroom waiting. I can't add them myself, only Lee can. So the other night when I finished my last book, Lee pulled this out of the pile for me. It was a good choice!

What other books is it like? It's like Sara's other books definitely. 

How many stars? Five out of five, I have basically no criticisms and I stayed up way too late two nights in a row to read it. 

Where is the book going now? I'm keeping it for sure. I hope one day that Sara is at a conference I'm at, because I'd really like my books of hers to be signed!

A Quiet Kind of Thunder by Sara Barnard - Review

Where did I get it? I bought it for myself, I really liked Sara's book Beautiful Broken Things so I bought this one. It's ages ago though, but I've been meaning to get to the book!

What's it about? Stef suffers with acute anxiety and has spent most of her school life silent, a selective mute. That's been okay as she's had best friend Tem with her, but now it's the start of sixth form and Tem has gone to college, while Stef is left at their school. But she's determined to speak, because her parents aren't sure she'll be able to cope with university if she can't.

Then on the first day she meets Rhys, who's deaf. They're introduced because Stef can sign a little bit, and two become friends. They slowly start to fall for each other, and Stef slowly overcomes some of her major obstacles.

I really liked how it was clear that Stef didn't "get over" her illnesses due to her boyfriend or due to the medication she was using, but that both things helped her to feel more confident. I liked the relationship between Stef and Tem, and thought it was a really good portrayal of teenaged friendship with all the good and bad that can have. I liked the relationship between Stef and Rhys, although I did think Rhys was a little bit too perfect at times. I thought the portrayal of Stef's anxiety was really true to life, and I say that as someone who has lived with anxiety for almost twenty years now. I liked the supporting cast too - Rhys' family especially, but Stef's parents, step-parents, and little sister too. It's a really good book!

What age range is it for? 15+

Are any main characters LGBTQ+? No 

Are any main characters people of colour? Yes, Tem is black. 

Are any main characters disabled either mentally or physically? Yes, of course. I really liked the look into the deaf world, I'd have liked to see more of Rhys' friends actually. 

Is there any sex stuff? Yes, quite a bit, and it's quite explicit. I thought it was great because Stef was very much like "Is that it?" once she'd done it. 

Are drugs mentioned or used? Prescription ones, yes 

Is there any talk of death? Yes, it's not graphic though. 

Are there swear words? No I don't think so? Very few, if there are. 

What criticisms do I have? None, overly. Rhys was a bit too perfect, but Stef loved him, so I sort of forgive her for thinking that. 

Would I recommend the book? Absolutely

Why did I choose to read it at this point in life? Well, oddly, I didn't mean to read it, but I went to the Turkish baths in Harrogate on Monday, and needed to take a paper book to read in there since my tablet might get damaged in the heat. I perused my shelves before I set off and was taken with this one. I read about a quarter of it while relaxing in the baths. 

What other books is it like? The main relationship between Stef and Rhys reminded me very much of Paper Butterflies by Lisa Heathfield. It has hints of Holly Bourne's books too. 

How many stars? Eight and a half out of ten. 

Where is the book going now? I'm keeping it - look at that beautiful pink cover! 

Beautiful Broken Things by Sara Barnard - Review

Where did I get it? Pan Macmillan via NetGalley, so thank you very much to Pan!

What's it about? Caddy and Rosie are best friends, about to go into their GCSE years at different schools in Brighton. Caddy is at a private girls' school and has just turned sixteen. She wants three things to happen in the next year: to get a boyfriend, to lose her virginity, and to have a Significant Life Event. All the bad things that she knows of have happened to people she knows and not to Caddy. For example, her sister was very unwell when Caddy was little, and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 

Now, this premise kind of annoyed me a lot, because I'm someone who's had maybe a lot of Significant Life Events and who had a lot of them happen before I was the age that Caddy is. I found her romanticising of those types of events very annoying and didn't warm to Caddy until maybe a third of the way through the book.

A new girl, Suzanne, starts at Rosie's school and Caddy soon feels threatened by their friendship. Suzanne is funny and exciting and new, and Caddy feels dull and boring in comparison. Then she discovers more about Suzanne's traumatic past and she becomes friendly with her too. 

I felt for Caddy when she described being a middle-of-the-road student at her school, I empathised very much with this. I really liked the playlists and music mentioned in the book, it was very much my kind of music and I'll have to see if anyone has made Spotify lists of songs mentioned! I loved the friendships between all the girls; they felt very real and flawed but with beautiful and loving parts too. I believe that was part of the author's intention - in the back of the book she describes is as a love story with no romance and it's true. I liked the book a lot, even though I felt it had flaws. 

What age range is it for? 15+

Are any main characters LGBTQ+? No, I would have liked that to be honest

Are any main characters people of colour? No

Are any main characters disabled either mentally or physically? Yes

Is there any sex stuff? Not much - there's a little bit of discussion around consent which I thought was good. 

Are drugs mentioned or used? Yes, nothing too strong but some. 

Is there any talk of death? Yes, and trigger warning for suicide too 

Are there swear words? Yes, just they're judiciously used 

Would I recommend the book? Yes. When I started I was pretty sure it would be a seven out of ten for me, because the beginning of the book really annoyed me as I said. But the latter half really lifted the whole thing for me, and even though I felt it had problems, I feel like the message - about girls supporting girls - is an important one. 

How many stars? Eight, with the caveats above.